Inherently Lonely

Sumthin' tha's sor'a like a'most sumthing tha's a'most like a song... not sure wot I'm goin' ta do wif it thou'. 

--Edit: Changed the title to Inherently Lonely... figured it fit. 

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Inherently Lonely 

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A thousand miles away,

The feeling’s understandable.

 

A hundred miles away,

It makes sense that you’d feel

 

Something in your heart

Something heavy black and hard

 

It’s weighting you down,

It’s making you question-

 

But when you’re there,

Where you’re supposed to be,

 

Why does it keep feeling like

You’re a thousand miles away?

 

The heavy black and hard

Finding a way to fight the cure

 

Maybe the cure isn’t what you thought?

Maybe it’s not distance or time that sets you apart?

Maybe it’s the isolation you build for yourself,

Two-way mirrors that let you look in,

But keep you hidden from their view?

 

The expectation makes it harder,

The foreign space makes it colder,

 

And you’re left with a feeling,

That too resembles what you thought you’d left behind.

 

There’s nothing you can do about it,

There’s nothing you can see,

 

You feel like no one can understand it,

And those who might, just won’t

 

You want to find your footing,

You want to stop spastically drowning,

 

Thankful for anything, anyone who deters

But you find you still feel that feeling.

 

Maybe the cure isn’t what you thought?

Maybe it’s not distance or time that sets you apart?

Maybe it’s the isolation you build for yourself,

Two-way mirrors that let you look in,

But keep you hidden from their view?

 

Now the feeling’s gone and left,

Disappeared from your body

 

You can’t feel it when you walk,

When you talk,

When you smile,

When you laugh,

Only when you cry…

 

When you cry it all comes out,

Emotions, tears and snot,

 

You realize it never left,

That you’ve made yourself remember

 

That heavy, black and hard feeling,

You’ve made sure to preserve

 

It just makes sense to protect yourself,

Cause you know that soon you might be,

 

A thousand miles away,

And it’ll all make sense,

 

A hundred miles away,

And it’ll all make sense,

 

But until that day you’ll hold on to it,

Hold on to that feeling,

 

Because as much as holding onto it-

Doesn’t at all make sense,

 

You know you’ve prepared yourself,

And you’ll be thankful for it soon.